What to do if the desire for sex disappears?
In terms of sex, many people are under enormous pressure. Because often the more you have sex, the better. However, one-fifth of all couples now live in a sexless marriage. "Sexless" means: There is still sex, but not more than ten times a year.
These are not pairs beyond the seventy or eighty. They are between thirty and forty and thus far from the midlife crisis or menopause. What is the reason that so many people have so little sex? The best sexologist in Lajpat Nagar, Delhi explains here.
- Sex is overrated
The first reason may be that sex is completely overrated and it is basically normal to have sex once a month or even once a week when both are relaxed and can spend time together.
However, some people had sex much more often in the past and felt very comfortable with it. But in the course of time, sex has gone far and better out of her life. Because they just do not feel like it anymore. Why is it?
- Poor sex quality
Poor sex quality is one of the common reasons why women, in particular, prefer not to have sex and do not want to fancy the popular headache. Here the solution is called communication! Because if the other does not know where the problem lies, nothing can change, says sexologist doctor in Delhi.
- Stress
Many people experience stress at their peak, for example, when working or playing sports. Sex is rarely one of them. Because stress is a real sex killer, says the best sexologist doctor in Delhi. If you are stressed out frequently, look for ways to escape the stress.
Plan your day or week with more freedom - and in the few free hours, do not just sit in front of the TV, but practice a relaxation method, such as progressive Jacobsen muscle relaxation, meditation, autogenic training or whatever you like.
- Relationship problems
Of course, if there are problems in the relationship, it is not easy to have sex with just that partner. The desire fades, as the problems hover over the relationship like a dark cloud. You feel unfairly treated, misunderstood, perhaps cheated or not taken seriously. However, many people need the feeling of being safe and close to their partner in order to develop their lust for sex. But if you fight constantly or close yourself to one of the partners, then no more closeness can arise, says sexologist in Greater Kailash.
Problems can basically be solved if everyone is prepared to speak openly, to stop playing games, to be honest (even to themselves) and to compromise. Often, it also helps to take one another's perspective in order to better understand it. What works wonders is an apology that comes from the heart. It can heal many wounds and be the chance for a new beginning.
- Alcohol
Alcohol breaks down inhibitions and makes it easier to have sex. But if you overdo it, the libido will disappear, says the best sexologist in Greater Kailash. Also, not every partner likes an alcoholic banner - let alone sex with a drunkard. Although alcohol can increase the number of one-night stalls if you want it, if you want more sex with your partner, restraint is more important when it comes to alcohol, especially if the other is not likes to drink.
- Lack of sleep
If you have a lack of sleep, then it is almost normal if the desire for sex is missing. Therefore, take care of enough sleep. Spend less time watching TV / PC / Tablet and prefer to go to bed earlier.
If sleep disorders are the reason for your lack of sleep, then it might make sense to still have sex, as it can demonstrably improve sleep disorders. Therefore, let yourself be seduced despite tiredness and observe how this measure affects your sleep quality, suggests the best sexologist doctor in Delhi.
- Children
If children suddenly belong to the family, then the desire to have sex diminishes for different reasons. You set other priorities, take care of the children and do not have so much time for the partner. In the evening you fall dead tired into bed and is glad, if not after an hour, the first already crying or want to crawl into the parent's bed.
Nevertheless, take time for your partner regularly. Look after a babysitter who can take over the children for a few hours. Even the grandparents or aunts/uncles can possibly be clamped from time to time. Later, the children can spend the night with friends - and you will have time for togetherness again.
- Medicines
Some medications reduce libido. Tragically, the contraceptive pill can be one of them. So you take a pill to be able to have safe sex, but exactly because of this pill has no desire for sex, says sexologist doctor in Delhi.
Other medications that can reduce the desire for sex include the following:
- antidepressants
- Antihypertensives
- chemotherapeutics
- Finasteride (for hair loss)
- Diuretics (dehydrator)
- heart medicines
- cholesterol-lowering drug
If you do not feel like having sex and you are taking any of these medications or other medicines, talk to your sexologist in Laxmi Nagar about it. Maybe you can reduce the dose or get another medicine that does not have this side effect.
- Low self-esteem
Some people do not feel well in their own skin. There is a lack of self-esteem. You feel too fat, too thin, too bulky, too muscular - in short, too unattractive. No wonder 50 - 60 percent of Indians prefer sex in the dark. They lack the necessary self-confidence to even let the light during sex, says the best sexologist in Laxmi Nagar.
If your partner belongs to this type of human, then it may be that he does not feel like having sex in daylight, simply because he is ashamed of his body. Take him/her the concerns. Tell him/her how beautiful, unique and sexy you find him or her.
If you are the one who is not really satisfied with your body then there are at least two possibilities. Either you learn that beautiful bodies do not have to be perfect and that they are as you are or you are now taking various measures (sports, diet changes) to shape your body the way you would like it!
- Overweight
Overweight can make the desire for sex disappear. Either because of the low self-esteem mentioned above or because you cannot move as you like.
Fat tissue is also a hormonally active tissue. It converts testosterone into the female hormone estrogen. Overweight men therefore often have a lower testosterone level and thus less desire. Also, the penis is less well supplied with blood in overweight, which reduces the stability and can lead to erectile dysfunction, says the best sexologist in Delhi.
Anyone who reduces his or her excess weight will soon not only feel better and more mobile but will automatically feel more like sex again.
- Erection problems
Of course, erectile dysfunction or too early ejaculation is also a reason to have less appetite for sex. Because once it did not work out as desired, then men are often under pressure and fear that it will not work again next time. However, this fear is counterproductive and virtually promotes failure, says sexologist doctor in Karkardooma.
Talk to your partner in any case, which will be a great relief. Together, you can test measures that, on the one hand, increase your erection and, on the other hand, prevent premature ejaculation. On the Internet, you will find numerous help under these search terms.
- Not enough testosterone
Testosterone provides the desire for sex. With age, however, the level of testosterone decreases continuously. Some men then lose their libido, says sexologist in Karkardooma. However, there is much that can be done to increase testosterone levels again or at least halt its decline.
- Depression
Anyone who is depressed generally does not feel like doing anything at all - and so does not enjoy sex. Here it is not helpful to treat the sexual aversion. Instead, depression must be the focus of treatment. If the depression subsides, the desire for sex also returns, says the best sexologist in Preet Vihar.
14th menopause
Many women lose their desire for sex during menopause. This is not surprising, as they experience physical changes in this phase that do not make sex comfortable, such as a dry vaginal mucosa and pain during sex, says the best sexologist doctor in Preet Vihar.
But there are natural remedies for the typical menopausal symptoms. Also, a therapy with bioidentical hormones, hormones that are similar to the body's own hormones, can make the menopause - if symptoms set - much more pleasant.
- Pushing or begging
If one of the partners - mostly the man - just cannot stand it anymore and makes clumsy allusions to finally get back on the train ... then this does not promote the pleasure of the other. On the contrary. Empathy would be appropriate here.
Because often the woman has everything in her ears, so right now she does not need candles or other romantic touches to get in the mood, but maybe just someone who helps and sees what to do. Someone who overdue repairs take care of the garden, walks with the children for a few hours in the woods or on the sports field or sometimes - without any request - the dishes.
Relief in everyday life leads to more relaxation - and who is relaxed, can only develop the desire for sex, says sexologist in East Delhi.
